I know I'm not important to you, but...

kYi wrote a very nice post in The Gourmet's Place relating to a situation when you devote yourself to a relationship. The post "他她他" is unfortunately in mandarin, so, if you can read, do read it, I guess many people will actually go through this when they get into a relationship (Bf-Gf Relationship, Friendship, Family, etc).

Briefly, in his post he mentioned how was the position of a guy who fell in love with a girl who loves another guy. He loves her so much that he knows virtually everything about her, always tries to help her, but then he can never share the smile with her as he isn't the one she loves. Everything that he did may not mean a single thing to her as she loves another guy. He can't leave her as he loves her a lot. So he stays in the shadow to support her silently.


As I mentioned earlier, many people suffers this state, as long as you fall in love with somebody, there is a possibility that you will get into this state and the love does not need to be between a bf & gf, it can be child & parents, between friends, etc.

kYi said "错的人即使在对的时间做了对的事, 那也改变不了他是错的人这个事实.." which translate to "When the wrong person does the right thing at the right time, it still can't change the fact that he is the wrong person".. What do you think? Try thinking back, did somebody did something you wanted but then you thought "I wish it was the other one who did it for me, wouldn't that be better"... Ever had that feeling?

I do understand kYi's friend feeling. When you care for some one so much, you just want the best for the person, it maybe your gf, bf, friend or family, even when the person doesn't really care much about you.

Since you care so much for the person, it is hard to leave the person. Sometimes it is not because you were thinking that there is a possibility that the person will like you later , hence encouraging you to stay close to the person, but it's you being worried that the person will need help in future. You get what I mean? You stay close to the person because you are just worried that the person will need your help in the future, even though the person may not really appreciate what you do.

Even though you feel that you are not good enough for the person,
Even though you feel that you can't make the person smile like the others,
Even though you know you can only see the person smile in the dark,
Even though you know you can never share the person's joy in reality,
Even though you understand caring for the person silently is painful,
Even though you understand that you will be lonely at the end of the day,
You will still stay close, in the dark, in the shadow, to help and continue to care the person..

I guess this is what some people call "Blindly in Love".. Indirectly torturing yourself...

The feeling of
"I know you don't care for me so much,
I know I'm not that important to you,
I know there are so many people around you which are better than I am,
I know you will not even noticed that I've vanished,
I know you will never really bother what I did for you,
I know there is no difference to you whether I'm around or not,
But I just can't get myself to leave you,
Because I care too much..."

"你身边的人那么多，多我一个，还是没有我，对你来说都没有分别。。"

No matter how inferior you may feel you are, yet you still stay close to the person... Sigh... it hurts... but you just can't walk away...

Related Links:
- 顺其自然/随缘