分手的季节 (Breaking Up Season)

真是奇妙，大家都知道水果有季节，原来分手也是有季节的。

最近，从朋友的部落格或和他们闲聊时得知关于他们在感情（爱情，友情）方面放手的事。真是奇怪，怎么突然间这么多人在感情方面出了问题呢？是瘟疫吗？

有些说男友心未定，
有些说不知女友要些什么，
有些说朋友冷落了他们。

这到底是怎么了？是天气太热吗？还是有什么新的传染病？

从大家的问题来看，原因都往往围绕在‘沟通’这两个字里。

有'沟通'才有'了解'
有'了解'才有'信任'
有'信任'才有'感情'

少了'沟通'就有了'误解'
有了'误解'就没了'信任'
没了'信任'就失了'感情'

这样来看，从'沟通'到'感情'这个阶段，缺一不可。

女生说男友行为怪异，男生却什么都不想解释，所以有了猜疑；
男生说女友很静，所以没法了解她心里要的是什么；
她说另一个朋友突然对她很冷淡，但之前又没有发生过什么明显的问题，所以不知道如何是好。

如果男友肯向女生解释一下为何他最近的性格有点儿失常，那么女生就不必对他有疑心，担心他一脚踏两船。
如果女友肯向男生诉说心里的想法，男生就不会怀疑自己是否是她心目中的类型。
如果那朋友肯告诉她哪里出了问题，她就不会在他们的友情上这么无助了。

'沟通'真的能解决一切问题吗？
那么为何大家的问题都很像解决不了呢？
到底是哪里出了问题？

人往往都是易知难行，知道沟通就是解决问题的要诀，却不知道如何去'沟通'。

我本人发现'沟通'其实不是件简单的事。

一，'沟通'不是口头上的说话而已，而是两人心灵上的交谈。如果不是把心里话说出来，那么沟通了也没用，因为真正该向对方表达的意思完全没让对方知道。

二，'沟通'是需要两人的配合才能成功的。但是，不是每次都能两人一心想沟通。很多时候都是一方想，但另一方却不想。有时，不是自己不想和他人沟通，而只是不想烦到另一方。有些人是想，既然自己已经很烦，为何还要烦到另一方呢？有时候，看见另一方已经为别的事而烦，如果再把俩人的问题拿来谈，担心会让对方烦上加烦，所以不管是怎么辛苦难受，还是自己默默地承担一切。

咳。。一份感情（爱情，友情）不容易维持，因为需要两人的配合才行。。。

Related Links:-
- 顺其自然 / 随缘
- 放手
- 从认识变成不认识 / Known to Unknown
- 问答
- 朋友是什么东西？(What's the meaning of a friend?)
- 喜欢一个人好累

我知道Wo Zhi Dao - BY2
*************************Translation***************************

Everybody knows that fruits maybe seasonal, but I noticed that Breaking Up (Love, Friendships) seems to have seasons too.

Talking to some friends and also from reading their blogs, I noticed many of them have chosen to let go of their relationships (Love, Friendship). But it’s kind of weird that there are so many people having the same problem at the same time, is it contagious?

Some say their boyfriends are too playful,
Some say their girlfriends are too hard to understand,
Some say their friends are giving them a cold shoulder.

From everyone’s problem, it seems like the reason for the relationship issue is revolving around the word ‘communication’.

When you ‘communicate’, you have ‘understanding’,
When you ‘understand’, you have ‘trust’,
When you ‘trust’, there comes your ‘relationships’

Lack of ‘communication’, invites ‘misunderstandings’,
When ‘misunderstood’, there is no ‘trust’,
If you can’t ‘trust’, then there is no ‘relationship’.

It seems like from communication to the building of a relationship, is a continuous process of various stages which none can be omitted.

A girl says her boyfriend is behaving abnormally, but her boyfriend doesn’t want to explain himself, hence she is suspicious of their relationship.
A guy says his girlfriend has been rather quiet, hence he has no idea what is going through her mind.
She says her friend is being cold to her, but there were no obvious problems before this, hence she has no idea how to remedy the situation.

If the guy is willing to explain why he has a sudden change in his behavior, then the girl doesn’t have to be suspecting that he is playing her.
If the girl is willing to tell the guy what is on her mind, then he won’t have to worry whether he is the type she is looking for.
If the friend can tell her where is the problem, then she wouldn’t be so helpless in the friendship.

Can ‘communication’ really solve all the relationship issues?
If so, why isn’t everybody’s problem being resolved?
Where is the problem now?

We, humans often know things theoretically, but don’t know how to carry it out in practical. We know that communicating can solve the problem, yet we don’t know how to communicate with each other.

I, myself find that ‘communication’ isn’t something easy to do actually.

1, ‘Communication’ isn’t about two person exchanging words verbally, but it’s actually two parties’ heart trying to connect with each other. If one doesn’t speak out what is in one’s heart, then the communication will fail as the real message was not conveyed to the other person.

2, ‘Communication requires both parties’ cooperation to work. But it is difficult to find both parties having the common aim to communicate. Most of the time, one may want to communicate while the other doesn’t. Sometimes, it isn’t about one person doesn’t want to communicate with the other, but he just doesn’t want to burden the other person. He maybe thinking that he is already rather frustrated about the relationship (love, friendship) problem, so why does he want to drag the other person into the matter. Sometimes, when you notice that the other person is already very busy with other matters in his own life, so you may not want to bring up the relationship issue to further burden the person, hence you somehow sacrifice your own feelings by keeping all relationship problems in your own heart, carrying the burden by yourself, no matter how painful it can be.

A relationship isn’t something easy to maintain, as you need both parties willingness and cooperation to protect and develop it…

Related Links:-
- 顺其自然 / 随缘
- 放手
- 从认识变成不认识 / Known to Unknown
- 问答
- 朋友是什么东西？(What's the meaning of a friend?)
- 喜欢一个人好累

分手快乐 - 梁静如