谁先走比较好？(Who should leave first?) - Completed

前几天，和圣龙聊到一个问题：

“你想自己先死，还是关心你的人先死？”

你们会怎么回答呢？

有些人会回答说“我希望我关心的人先走一步”；原因是因为不想这些自己关心的人因自己的离去而伤心，不想看到这些自己关心的人伤心流泪，承受着有人离去的伤痛。

另一些则会希望自己先离去。因为不想自己承受因看着身边关心的人一个又一个地离去而孤单寂寞。你们觉得这种想法会不会有点儿自私呢？因为他们宁愿让自己关心的人伤心也不想自己去承受孤单寂寞。

其实也不能说这些人自私。因为孤零零的感受真的不是很好过。看着自己心爱关心的人离去也的确是件很痛苦的事。像留言的Cai Hong，有些人希望自己先走一步不是因为怕承受伤痛，而是希望心爱的人能够继续地生活下去，享受人生。

我的答案呢？我的答案是有点儿自私咯。因为有两个答案：

（一）如果是我关心又关心我的人，我希望他们先走一步；原因是我不想他们因失去我而伤心。虽然我知道我会因他们的离去，没有他们在我生变陪伴我而感到伤心流泪，但我宁愿自己去背着这些伤痛也不想看到这些关心我的人难过。

（二）如果是我关心却不承认我存在的人，那么，我希望我自己先走一步；我承认这答案是有一种自私的念头。既然他们都不当我是一会儿事，即使我走了，他们也不会有一丝丝的思念或惋惜。但是他们的离去却会让我伤感。那么倒不如我先走，那么我就不必一个人承受这些痛苦。

---------------------------English Translation---------------------------


I was chatting with Sheng Loong the other day about this question:

“Do you want to die before the ones who love you or do you prefer them to leave first?”

What is your answer?

Some of you would hope those who care for you will leave a step earlier as you do not wish to see them feeling sad for your passing.

On the other hand, some of you would prefer that you leave earlier. Reason being you do not wish to suffer from the loneliness when the ones you love leave you one by one. But is such thinking considered selfish? Letting those who care for you weep of your passing?

It can’t really be said as being selfish as it is a truth that loneliness can be a very painful feeling to deal with. Some people as Cai Hong (a blogger who left a comment) would choose to leave earlier because they wish the ones they love to continue living on, enjoying the beauty of life.

Now, how about my answer? My answer is a little selfish because there are two:

(1) When facing the ones whom I love and care for me at the same time. I hope they leave earlier than I. The reason is I don’t want them to feel the sadness of losing someone whom they care for and bear that pain for the rest of their lives. Even though I know that their passing and the fact that they will never be here by my side anymore is extremely saddening for me, but I would rather bear this pain by myself than to let them feel the lost.

(2) When facing the ones whom I love yet do not care for me. I hope I can leave earlier than them. I have to admit that this is a rather selfish answer. But since I’m a nobody to them, even if I leave this world first, I doubt they would missed my presence and feel sad for me. But if they happen to leave before me, I’m sure I would be devastated. Hence, it would be much better that I leave this world first, as I don’t have to bear this suffering by myself.

Hehe.. so that’s my answer… What a crappy post! Hahaha.. but a real interesting question to think about I must say…