Am I Pessimistic or Am I Optimistic?

When I was in the clinic, a doctor was talking on the phone to a patient who seemed to have a serious illness, she said:-

"Think of the worst, so it won't be the worst in the future, but a bonus!!"

I have a few friends who tend to say I'm a very pessimistic person who likes to think of the worst. And I don't deny that. Many times, when I'm doing something, I would think about the possible outcomes, and most of the times the worst case scenario. So, in someway, I guess they are right.

I've never doubt what they said until yesterday when I was in the clinic, when I heard what the doctor said.

Examining the statement made by the doctor, what do you guys think now? Am I being pessimistic or Am I actually being optimistic.

Maybe because I often lack self-confidence, hence causing myself into believing that many things that I'm doing will not achieve the best results which can be obtained. Prompting me to think about how bad the outcome of my action will become.

Sometimes, after thinking of all the possible worst case scenario, I will also think of possible steps to take if it really happens.

But then again, sometimes I can think of the worst event and yet I become so helpless to do anything about it, if it really happens.

So, back to the question, "Am I Pessimistic or Am I Optimistic?"..

What do you all think?

从认识变成不认识 / Known to Unknown

在繁忙的街上走着，会不会看见熟悉的脸孔呢？

两人擦肩而过，却很象完全不认识。你有没有这种经历呢？有可能是从前的小学或中学同学，但是现在在街上碰面却完全没有一点朋友的感觉。如果你上前说声‘嗨！’，那人会不会说‘你是谁？’。。哈哈。。。

一位同学就曾经跟我说她打给以前的同班同学，哪儿知道，那同学竟然说‘你是谁？我想不起咧！我要出门了，拜拜！’。。。哈哈。。还记得他们俩以前是一对经常吵闹的朋友，但却变成这样。

在人生道路中，我们会遇见，谈话，接触的人不计其数，但是有几个感情/友情能持久呢？

-------------------------English Translation--------------------------

Walking along the busy streets, do you often come across familiar faces?

Walking passed each other within inches, yet as though not knowing each other. Have you ever experienced such situations? These people maybe your primary or secondary school friends, yet walking pass each other without any feeling of friendship. If you were to say ‘Hi!’ to the person, would he say ‘Who are you?’ in return?

A friend of mine told me she phoned up a former classmate. What she did not expect was that he said “Who are you? I can’t recall who you are! I’m going out, bye bye!’… Even though both of them are a pair of noisy classmates last time, yet they are unknown to each other now.

In our journey in life, we will come across countless people, but how many of these relationships can be long-lasting?

Related Link:
- Time

恨，Hate

When you bump into a person that you hate, how is your feeling? Do you detest his presence? Do you feel uncomfortable?

The picture below says that when you bump into a person who you hate, you must greet with a smile as he made you stronger.

Theoretically, it is true that this person whom you hate did make you stronger by showing you the evil things which can occur in real life. Since you have experienced it, you will try to avoid it the next time, or even if you do undergo the same thing again, at least you won't feel that painful.

But the question here is, will you be able to really give a sincere smile to this person who hurt your heart the last time? Will you be able to put aside the negative feelings?

This isn't something easy to do, and I'm sure I won't be able to do it easily. I can't act, either I smile or I don't smile, if I force myself to smile, you can see it very clearly as a fake smile. LOL~~

I forgive, but I never forget... I will remember every evil things others did to me. I won't take revenge, but I will remember the evil side they showed me... Hahaha...

Related Link:
- 时间 - Time

时间 - Time

"如果你要幸福，
你要坚定地伸出手，
去做你想做的事，
去爱你身边最爱你的人，
不要等，
因为幸福从来没有离开过，
只是你有没有看见。"
- 再伟 -

时间是什么？

一个永远都不会累的东西？一直走呀走，不会停，不会等人，而且在它经过的地方都会留下痕迹。

有些人说，不管有多么伤痛，时间还是能冲淡一切伤痛。

有些人说，时间久了，两人之间的问题会慢慢地解决。

有些人说，过了一段时间，两个人就会对彼此有更深一层的了解。

有些人说，人是需要时间去调整心理，去适应他人还有环境。

看起来，时间是一件在我们生活当中不可缺少的东西，它帮我们解决了很多问题，对我们有宜。

但是也有人说，时间能让我们忘记很多事，很多人。它能让我们对很多人，很多地方感到生疏。

也有人说，时间久了，有些误会会变得越复杂，越难解决。

也有人说，时间久了，很多东西也变得无法挽回。旧的，变得更旧，不好的，变得更不好，老的，更是老了很多。

看起来，时间对我们可以有宜，也有害。

我在想，时间在感情方面的影响会是怎样的？

最近看见朋友和他女朋友在一起，非常甜蜜，什么都迁就她，什么都依她。但是，看一看其他已经结婚了的夫妇，还有这种情景吗？手拉手，亲亲脸颊，说甜蜜的话？有吗？很像没有，是不是因为久了，所以感情逐渐淡化了，所以没必要在这么做？

朋友之间的感情呢？会不会因时间久，而变得不认识呢？

人“和你站在一起的人是谁？”
我“我的BonBon咯”
人“BonBon？Bon Ping Cheng啊？”
我“哦，是他咯，还有谁？你的同班同学嘛。。认不出啊？”

除此之外，朋友之间出现了问题，时间能让问题慢慢地解决吗？还是让问题变得更严重，误会更深，了解变得更少。感情会不会因时间而消失呢？

时间啊。。 你到底是好还是坏？

*****************************TIME****************************

被爱的女人 - coco

Time, what are you?

Something that never gets tired? Just move on and on and on, never stopping and leaving your prints behind wherever you have been to?

Some people say, time can heal all pain, no matter how hurtful it once was.

Some people say, problems between two person can be solved as time passes.

Some people say, as time passes, we will get to know each other better.

Some people say, we need time to adapt to the ones around us and also the surroundings.

Seems like time is something we can't live without and it is beneficial to us too.

But some people say, time makes us forget the people around us and also the places we once knew.

Some people say, as time passes, misunderstandings get worse and harder to solve.

And some people say, it is hard to return things to its original state after sometime. Things which are old becomes older, things which are bad becomes worse.

Seems like times is like a double-edged sword being both beneficial and harmful to us. How about relationships? How does it affect relationships?

Looking at a friend and his lover. They can be so sweet, so romantic, holding hands, exchanging kisses. But looking at married couples, do you still see all these? Is it an effect of time? Causing relationships to become 'slower' more monotonous after awhile?

What about friendships? Will friends forget each other after some time?

Somebody "Who is that guy standing beside you?"
Me "My Bonbon lor"
Somebody "Bonbon? Bon Ping Cheng?"
Me "Yala, him lor, who else wor? Your classmate wat, last time, can't recognise meh?"

Problems between friends. Will they disappear after some time? Or will they become worse? More misunderstandings arise, less understandings established. Hence, causing the relationship to vanish slowly..

So what are you 'time'? Are you good or bad to us?

Related Link:
- Rubber Time
- 喜欢一个人好累

Blogging Journey

I’ve been blogging for the almost four years already since 2005. I started out blogging because many people were starting to blog at that time. It seemed kind of like an ‘in’ thing back then.

When I first started, I was kind of lost. I would normally write a post and leave the blog for sometime before coming back to write another post because I really had no idea what to write about most of the time.

In 2006, I guess I retired from blogging by abandoning my blog (former blog was under MSN Spaces) for months until I revived it around March 2007 (The current blog you are reading now).

My objective of blogging back then was just to write out what was going through my life at that moment. Then, all these things about earning money through blogging became a hot issue. So, I went into it too, subscribing to Nuffnang (The advert you can see on the side). I was so active back then, constantly thinking of what to blog and I would even have multiple blog posts in a single day too sometimes.

These continued until early 2008 which then I kind of got a little tired and started to blog just because I wanted to blog for fun, just really to write what I see, feel, experience in life, just like what is stated on the title under Teddy’s World. My blog has somehow become a tiny little book which I store my simple thoughts which I get either from myself or inspired from other’s blog posts.

Even though I haven’t been in this blogosphere for long, but I’ve noticed many come and go very fast. Just try to go through my links at the bottom, you will noticed many of the blogs no longer exist. This also shows the volatility of the relationship in the virtual world of the internet. Many people started out saying ‘Hi’, exchanging links, but then later just move on silently. Most of them drop by your blog just for the sake of getting you to go back to their blogs to help them earn money through those adverts. Many of these people don’t even bother reading what you write, which is another reason why I don’t actively blog for the adverts anymore as I feel that such relationships are so superficial and fake. I do drop by other blogs which have adverts, but it’s because I really find what they write interesting, hence indirectly contributing to their advert income.

I guess it’s time for me to do some spring cleaning and delete some of the dead links. Hehe.. Happy blogging…

Related links:
- Volatility of Relationships

九张图片看出你的性格

这是一个十分有趣的心理测验，而且非常简单准确。

九张图片看出你的性格


这些图片是科学家跟一位心理学家一起合作的成果，并且经过历时几年的全球性测试，他们收到这个研究的响应之后，再小心地调较各个图片的颜色及形状，然后再次进行测试，直至他们得到这些非常成功的图片，这些图片代表了九种不同的性格。据称这是全球最准确的性格测试。希望你喜欢这个测验！快来看看你们的性格如何吧。测试图片如下，最好在 5 秒钟内选出你喜欢的图片，不要犹豫 !


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Very accurate for me... Try guess Teddy chose which square.. hhehe


答案：


1. 无忧无虑，顽皮，愉快的人
你喜欢自由自在，无拘无束的生活。
你的座右铭是：生命只能活一次，因此你尽量享受每一刻。
你好奇心旺盛，对新事物抱有开放的态度；你向往改变，讨厌束缚。
你觉得身边的环境都不断在变，而且经常为你带来惊喜。


2. 独立，前卫，不受拘束
你追求自由及不受拘束，自我的生活。
你的工作及消闲活动都与艺术有关。
你对于自由的渴求有时候会使你做出令人出人意表的事。
你的生活方式极具个人色彩；你永远不会盲目追逐潮流。
相反地，你会根据自己的意思和信念去生活，就算是逆流而上也在所不惜。


3. 时常自我反省 , 敏感的思想家
你对于自己及四周的环境能够比一般人控制得更好更彻底。
你讨厌表面化及肤浅的东西；你宁愿独自一人也不愿跟别人闲谈，但你跟朋友的关系却非常深入，这令你的心境保持和谐安逸。
你不介意长时间独自一人，而且绝少会觉得沉闷。


4. 务实，头脑清醒，和谐
你作风自然，喜欢简单的东西。
人们欣赏你脚踏实地，他们觉得你稳重，值得信赖。
你能够给予身边的人安全感，你给人一种亲切，温暖的感觉。
你对于俗气的，花花绿绿的东西都不屑一顾，对时装潮流抱着怀疑的态度；
对于你来说，衣服必须是实用及大方得体的。


5. 专业，实事求事，自信
你掌管自己的生活，你相信自己的能力多于相信命运的安排。
你以实际，简单的方式去解决问题。
你对日常生活中所遇到的事物抱有现实的睇法，并且能够应付自如。
人们知道你可担重任，因此都放心把大量工作交给你处理。
你那坚强的意志使你时刻都充满信心。
未达到自己的目标之前，你绝不罢休。


6. 温和，谨慎，无攻击性
你生性随和，但处事谨慎。
你很容易认识朋友，但同时享受你的私人时间及独立生活。
有时候，你会从人群中抽身而出，一个人静静地思考生活的意义，并自娱一番。
你需要个人的空间，因此有时会隐匿于美梦当中，但你并不是一个爱孤独的人。
你跟自己及这个世界都能够和陆共处，而你对现状亦非常满意。


7. 具分析力，可靠，自信
你对事物的灵敏度令你可以发现到旁人忽略了的东西。
这些就是你的宝石，你喜欢发掘这些美好的东西。
你的教养对于你的生活有很特别的影响。
你有自己高雅独特的一套，无视任何时装潮流。
你的理想生活是优雅而愉快的，而你亦希望跟你接触的人们都是高雅而有教养的。


8. 浪漫，爱幻想，情绪化
你是一个感性的人。你拒绝只从一个严肃，理智的角度去理解事物。
你的感觉亦十分重要。事实上，你觉得人生必需要有梦想才叫活得充实。
你不接受那些轻视浪漫主义及被理智牵着鼻子走的人；
而且不会让任何事物影响到你那丰富的感情及情绪。


9. 精力充沛，好动，外向
你不介意冒险，特别喜欢有趣的，多元化的工作。
相比之下，例行公事及惯例会令你没精打采。
你最兴奋的是可以积极参与任何比赛活动，因为这样你就可以在众人面前大显身手了。


你是哪一类性格，我的朋友们？有谁又能猜到我的类型么 : )

好坏人，坏好人

不管是什么东西，包括人都会被分辨成‘好’或‘坏’。

‘好’与‘坏’是跟着阴阳理论里的，
如果没有‘好’就不会有‘坏’，
同样的，如果没有‘坏’就不可能会有‘好’。

‘好’根本离不开‘坏’，
‘坏’也离不开‘好’。

如果没有一个人的‘好’，那么又怎能显示出另一个人的‘坏’呢？
如果没有一个人的‘坏’，你又能看得出另一个人的‘好’吗？

观音心经里写着‘色既是空，空既是色’，
意识是说世界万物都是虚拟的，
不是永恒的，
来了，几十年后就会走了，
‘好’与‘坏’也一样，
只是眼前所看见的情景，
在现实生活中，往往只是肤浅的情景。

若说上天制造了人类，
那么人们本是一家，
哪儿来的‘好’与‘坏’呢？
‘好’与‘坏’只是大家在追求物质财富时给别人戴上的记号而已,
而且‘好’与‘坏’本就不容易分，往往只是一线之差，
有些看似好，却是坏，
有些看似坏，但其实是好。

施主们，不应太在意‘好’与‘坏’，
最重要的是大家都修心养神，
再修身养性，
然后求道立德，
方能修成正果。。

阿弥陀佛。。善哉。。善哉。。

- 小和尚 -

Volatility of Relationships

How many people will you come across in your life?
How many relationships would you have forged by the end of time?
How many of these relationships would last from the start until the end?
How many of these relationships are sincere?

What makes a relationship long-lasting?
On the other hand, what makes the relationship break apart?
Anyone has the answer?

Since I’m writing this on the blog, so let’s talk about virtual reality relationships, meaning relationships which you have made while going online in the internet, chatting in mIRC, ICQ, MSN, YM, GoogleChat, Blogging, etc.

How many of these relationships are truly sincere? When it comes to blogging, I doubt many are sincere; many of these relationships are there just so that you can visit their blog so they can generate income through the advertisements placed on their blogs everytime you visit. Obviously, there are also other reasons for a blog relationship to be forged, some are truly sincere, some are because they want to look for people to talk to and so on.

In blogs, did you notice that there are some people whom you can talk to freely? Even though you do not know them personally, but it is rather easy for you to talk to them and share your thoughts. Then, you may try to bring these relationships into reality. Some will continue to go well, while others may just fade away and you will noticed that some of these relationships are meant to be in the virtual world and not in real life. When everything was in the virtual world, everything was more fun, more enjoyable, but when brought into the real fun, everything change, things turn slow, monotonous, no longer interesting as before. Why? What dictates the directions of these relationships?

Back to the initial questions, what helps the relationships to be long-lasting? Is it tolerance, common hobbies, common thoughts, care, etc? What destroys the relationships then? Is it because there is no common interest, contradicting thoughts and believes, etc?

Is there actually a very simple answer to this question which I’ve missed unknowingly?

Related links:-
- 顺其自然/随缘

Valentines Day

14th of February aka the Western Valentines Day. How did you spend it? If you go out to town today, you will see many couples walking together hand-in-hand. So lovely and sweet.

Valentines Day is not a day solely for the couples in love but also for friends too depending on how you define the day. 情人节，未必就得和有‘爱情’关系的人过的，也可以和有‘友情’关系的人一起过。。

For those who are not currently attached, how did you spend your day? Out with friends? or spend the day at home doing something you like?

Actually I don't know what to write for this post leh, coz not much idea anyway.. Hahaha... Just come here crap crap only....

Anyway, I was on bed the whole day, yea!! I lay there the whole day.. Haha.. talk about being a lazy boy... then tried to install some computer software but then the disks were faulty, so I ended up with non-functional software... Hahaha... Lousy... Feel like burning down the stupid computer shop that sold me the disks...

Anyway, happy valentines day to all loving couples and friends... 祝大家‘情’人节快乐。。*情=爱情，友情。。

对pcbon的回应。。

说那段友情没必要再继续下去的是他，不是我，我可没提出这件事，他是在考完试后说的。。

过后的五年，前三年我都有祝他生日快乐，过年也有祝贺，但他还是说同句话，就是没有必要继续那段友情。。如果他的朋友提起我，他也是那么说的，只是需要我帮他温习功课，所以考完SPM就不需要和我做朋友了。。我不是因生气被利用就舍弃那段友情。。而是他坚决要这样的。。

谢谢你的指点，我会记住的。。

再补充一下。。

你说，两人之间的问题在哪儿，怎么解决，要靠自己。。

但别忘，你自己也说过，两人之间的问题是两个人的责任。。

如果，我已经设法解决，尽力了，而对方却什么都没当一会儿事，那是谁的错呀？我说过，我已经努力过，暗示过出了问题，也想谈过，但另一方却装疯卖傻，那又怎么办呢？

我和那中一朋友的事，像我说的，是他说不要继续那份友谊，虽然我是生气，但是我只是问他为何要把友谊建立在利用上，过后他只是说考试完了，就让友谊结束吧，那我得怎么办？中五后的五年，前三年都有尽力和他联络，他却说一样的话；我们俩的好友发现我们出了问题，他却捏造些故事，说我害他，搞得大家都生我气。。虽然是这样，过后的两年，我还是坚持想和他和好，但是他的回应都是一样的。。那我又该如何呢？

我想说的是，我能做的，都已经为这中一朋友的友谊做了。。我无愧于我和他俩的友谊。。

至于过后和其他人的感情呢，我只能说，我会尽力不让这阴影来影响我和别人的感情/友谊。。像文章里所说的，如果我在乎某个人/朋友，我还是会想法去守护着那份友谊，但别忘，像你说的，感情是两人的责任，如果该做的，该说的，该暗示的，想办法补救，我都做了，但另一方却什么都不管，你说该怎么办呢？

像你所说的，两个人都没达到彼此的标准，那么，该怎么办呢？一个人做出让步，说出自己心里话。另一方却什么都不做，不说。。 我又该怎样呢？

我离开一份友谊，不可否认是因为那中一朋友的阴影，因为，我不想再受到伤害，不想再一次付出，想法补救一段友谊，但最后的结局却是一样，和那中一友谊一样。。一点点的努力，我还能做，但是，我真的觉得我现在不会像以前那样，为一个破裂的友谊做出五年的补救大行动。。毕竟，我真的累了，没这能耐再去这么花功夫去补救另一段友谊。。要自己去想问题在哪儿，怎么补救，真的很不容易，如果另一方什么都没做。。就会更累。。虽然离开不是解决问题的方法，但是我真的不想再一次自己傻傻的为别的友谊做出那么大的单方面付出。。。

既然是没达到彼此的标准，彼此又没有办法达到那标准，那么继续下去，你说会怎样呢？能继续下去吗？我会因另一方而感到伤心，另一方也可能会因为我而感到烦恼。。

那么，我悄悄地离开，不是会更好吗？

郭静 - 慢慢纪念.wma - Claire Guo Jing
***********************pcbon的留言**************************

好的，既然你都写出来了，我就直接告诉你吧~刺耳的地方还请肚量大的你要见谅~
当一段感情出了问题时，你不能分辨对与错，你就要尝试看看别人的看法~ A和B有问题，不见得A和C一样会有问题。但如果B和A有问题，B又和C有问题，你就开始能察觉到真正出问题的是那一方了。以客观的角度来说吧，当一个人对另一个人有不满时，就是另一个人没有达到这个人的标准。他会想，为什么这个人这样，为什么这个人那样，但往往忽略了自己这方面，问问自己，是不是也达到了另一方的标准，这样才是公平的做法。
一味责怪自己，或责怪他人只会造成无谓的破散，不管对自己，或是他人都是自私的做法。
问题出在哪里，只有靠找才能知道，而问题怎么解决，也只有靠自己。
一味只想着慢慢离开，慢慢消失~ 你认为这种做法是聪明的吗？潇洒的吗？
对我而言，都不是。那只是一种自私自利的做法。为了达到自己的满足感而做出的决定，却能影响到双方的决定。
无论如何~
不字~总是比较容易说~ 这也不能怪你~
不过我也为你的中一朋友的友谊感到可惜~他，自少还有个优点是可取纳的，都好过动不动就说放手的你，他有他的坦白~朋友都是互相帮助下一起成长的，当时的他能依靠到你的就是帮他温习功课，助人为快乐之本，如果说帮助朋友都算是利用的话，那你的气量也未免闷小了~
是的可能是他的不对，利用了你~但为了帮朋友温习功课而结束了这五年的友情，想想值得吗？肯定是不值得的，因为，也许今天的他已经知道错了并愿意改过自新，但你有给他悔改的时间和机会吗？
你不高兴是因为他利用你，因为它伤害到你，因为他得罪到你~焦点全都指着你自己的利益，可曾你又想过，你的一举一动也是引导着他的如此举动。如果你不教他读书，他也不会来找你，如果你不去找他讲话，他也不会来找你。。
这一切都是你所谓的悄悄离开就能解决的吗？而这就是你所谓的有责任感的做法吗？这也是你所谓的细心的作为吗？
对我而言，这只是对朋友没有安全感的人做出的不理智举动~三思三思吧~人非圣贤，孰能无过~
别人也是一样，自己也是一样~
给自己时间，给他人也要有时间~不过如果那人是没人性的野兽，你还是放手的好，不然会很耗神~ XD

Related Link:
- I know I'm not important to you, but...

放手

在“顺其自然 / 随缘”的文章里，我写了关于“放手”的事，也写到我会悄悄地退几步，再慢慢地离开，消失。。。

你们可能会感到奇怪，为何我不会想办法去补救一份我重视的感情呢？

其实我的答案很简单，就在于一个“累”字。

中一，认识了一个人，变成了好友。从中一到中五考完试时，没有人不知道我们俩是好友，一直在一起，放学后还留在学校聊天，老师们也知道。

但考试后，他竟然承认，和我成了好友的原因是因为需要我帮他温习功课，所以，这份友谊已经没有必要在考试后继续下去。

那时，让他吓着了。中五后的五年里，我都一直在想，为何会这样，一直要求他面对面讨论这件事，想请他澄清一下。但是都失败了。他一直都在逃避，不肯见我，只是说他已经承认了，所以没有必要解释些什么，他也觉得他没有做错。从他朋友那儿，我也了解到，他真的觉得欺骗我的友情，利用我，是没有错的，只是生活上的一种需求。

他对我们俩友情的马虎和随便，把我们友情不当一回事的态度，就这样伤了我的心，留下了阴影。

也因为这件事，我明白了，不是每个人都会像自己一样，重视感情。我也不能去强迫别人和我有一样，重视感情的观念。有可能我自己重视一份感情，但在别人的眼里，感情只是件小事，不重要的事，没有了一个，还能去找另一个。我因为重视感情而苦苦地死守那份友情，想办法补救，想和他谈，想和他解决问题，这一切就花了五年。自己付出了很多，努力了很多，到最后还是没法挽回这份友情。一方的重视和另一方的忽视是没法守护一段感情的。

这件事后，我若发现某些感情出了问题，无法持续下去，我都不会再像以前那样，一直去思考哪里出了问题，找对方出来谈，讨论如何补救的方法，哪里出错，彼此是否能让步，试一试了解对方的思想，挽回一切。因为我已经‘累’了。我曾经在五年里重复地为一份友谊做出了这一切，最后还是没有结果，只是发现自己真的被人耍了，玩了，利用了。

因为这件事，自己也有仔细想一想和前女友的感情，发现我们俩的爱情也是没有结果的。我们都处于不同的世界，所以，我就选择悄悄的离去。。。

所以，我才说，现在，不管是什么感情出了问题，我会悄悄的退几步，慢慢地离开，渐渐地消失。。。因为我真的没有力气再去做这一切，再说，我害怕，再一次的付出又会是一样的结局。。。

当然，真正认识我的人，都会知道我是个很感性的男生，也很注意小细节，不管对任何事包括感情，都会很专心的对待，不会马虎，愿意付出，所以我不会太无情，但为了保护自己，我真的没法再象以前那样，毫不犹豫的付出，如果我真的很重视一段感情，我能做的就是在出现问题时，轻微的暗示一下，聊天时也会稍微谈关于我们俩的事。但是，如果另一方还是把一切看成小事，不重视，不想讨论我们之间的问题，那么，我也没办法了，只有自己承受伤痛，悄悄离开。。。对不起。。。

“我放手，
不是因为我不爱你，而是我太爱你，
我知道，若继续留在你身边，我们俩都会痛苦，
你因我的存在而烦恼，
我因无法跟着你的节奏而疲倦，
希望我的离去会是大家的解脱，
为了你，我愿意牺牲自己，承担一切伤痛，
你将来的开心，会是我的快乐，
因为到最后，我依然爱你。。。”

Related Links:
- I know I'm not important to you, but...
- 顺其自然 / 随缘

Continuation on previous post on 7th Feb 09

Some people may wonder why in the previous post regarding "I know I'm not important to you, but...", I've included relationships with family, friends, etc when the post normally refers to relationships between gf-bf.

Well, the word 'Relationship' itself does not just mean the relationship between gf-bf, it can also refer to the other relationships. Hence even the situation in that particular dilemma.

For example, when it comes to a family. Maybe the parents would say "Your eldest brother is good at studies, your second brother is good at sports, your youngest brother is good at arts, but how come you are good at nothing?". When the parents say this to a kid, the child may feel sad, but then he may still love his parents even though they put more emphasis on the other siblings, hence, even though he is not really appreciated by the parents, he still remain by their side as their children and loving them.

When it comes to friends, the same scenario can apply to. For example, you like a particular friend, but then there maybe too much differences between you and the friend, hence making both of you to have a tough time being together that you two no longer spend time together or to the person, you are just a very common person that he met and he has much better friends close to him. Yet, it doesn't mean you erase the person of your memory, instead you still regard the person as a friend and remain near in case the friend needs your help, even though this friend may not really appreciate what you do for him unlike if it is done by the rest of his close friends who he likes more.

It may sound funny, but in fact the scenario can also apply to your relationships with your pets. I used to have 5 cats at a particular time, and I do scold them once in awhile as they love to jump onto the curtain to climb to the lights to catch the lizards which may tear the curtain. All are fine after a few minutes, but one of them seem to be rather scared of me after that. It doesn't let me touch a lot, but then it doesn't mean I stop loving it, I still care for it, treat it when it's hurt, I still stay by his side even though he seldom let me get close to it.

So, the situation of a person devoting himself into a relationship which doesn't really repay anything just because he loves the other part, can really happen to any relationships, whether it is with their loveones, family, friends or even pets.. hehe... Anyway, all relationships involves 'love' and love doesn't only mean love between your gf/bf, love is also present between you and your parents, siblings, friends, or even pets... hehhe...

Related Links:
- I know I'm not important to you, but..

I know I'm not important to you, but...

kYi wrote a very nice post in The Gourmet's Place relating to a situation when you devote yourself to a relationship. The post "他她他" is unfortunately in mandarin, so, if you can read, do read it, I guess many people will actually go through this when they get into a relationship (Bf-Gf Relationship, Friendship, Family, etc).

Briefly, in his post he mentioned how was the position of a guy who fell in love with a girl who loves another guy. He loves her so much that he knows virtually everything about her, always tries to help her, but then he can never share the smile with her as he isn't the one she loves. Everything that he did may not mean a single thing to her as she loves another guy. He can't leave her as he loves her a lot. So he stays in the shadow to support her silently.


As I mentioned earlier, many people suffers this state, as long as you fall in love with somebody, there is a possibility that you will get into this state and the love does not need to be between a bf & gf, it can be child & parents, between friends, etc.

kYi said "错的人即使在对的时间做了对的事, 那也改变不了他是错的人这个事实.." which translate to "When the wrong person does the right thing at the right time, it still can't change the fact that he is the wrong person".. What do you think? Try thinking back, did somebody did something you wanted but then you thought "I wish it was the other one who did it for me, wouldn't that be better"... Ever had that feeling?

I do understand kYi's friend feeling. When you care for some one so much, you just want the best for the person, it maybe your gf, bf, friend or family, even when the person doesn't really care much about you.

Since you care so much for the person, it is hard to leave the person. Sometimes it is not because you were thinking that there is a possibility that the person will like you later , hence encouraging you to stay close to the person, but it's you being worried that the person will need help in future. You get what I mean? You stay close to the person because you are just worried that the person will need your help in the future, even though the person may not really appreciate what you do.

Even though you feel that you are not good enough for the person,
Even though you feel that you can't make the person smile like the others,
Even though you know you can only see the person smile in the dark,
Even though you know you can never share the person's joy in reality,
Even though you understand caring for the person silently is painful,
Even though you understand that you will be lonely at the end of the day,
You will still stay close, in the dark, in the shadow, to help and continue to care the person..

I guess this is what some people call "Blindly in Love".. Indirectly torturing yourself...

The feeling of
"I know you don't care for me so much,
I know I'm not that important to you,
I know there are so many people around you which are better than I am,
I know you will not even noticed that I've vanished,
I know you will never really bother what I did for you,
I know there is no difference to you whether I'm around or not,
But I just can't get myself to leave you,
Because I care too much..."

"你身边的人那么多，多我一个，还是没有我，对你来说都没有分别。。"

No matter how inferior you may feel you are, yet you still stay close to the person... Sigh... it hurts... but you just can't walk away...

Related Links:
- 顺其自然/随缘

顺其自然 / 随缘

有些人说‘顺其自然’。有时也会在电视上看见得道高僧说‘随缘’这两个字。但是‘顺其自然’与‘随缘’的意识到底是什么？

我觉得这成语与词汇都是一样的意识。‘顺其自然’和‘随缘’都相信世上所有的一切包括感情（亲情，友情，爱情）都已经是注定好了。所以，我自己是觉得说这些话的人会相信感情是不求而遇的，而且感情在没有人的干预下也会自己发展。

我自己不知道这种想法是否正确。但在宗教的观点来探讨的话，他们这种想法是没错的。因为宗教是说世界上的一切都已经被神决定了，你一生能赚多少钱，你的缘分，一切的一切都早已注定好了。

虽然我自己也是相信这一点，但是我也相信老天爷是不会奖赏不劳而获的人。虽然，是已经注定了，但是我觉得我们还是需要复合某些条件才能得到这些奖赏的。不是吗？打个比方说，早已注定这个月你会赚到一百万，但是如果你没出门工作，买马票，做了些投资，这些钱会飞进你的户口吗？

之前有和诗莹谈过关于感情的事，她是说，如果喜欢一个人，不管是谁，是爱人还是朋友都要敢敢去珍惜，去把握，有什么想说的，就敢敢去说，去争取。我也有和大学好朋友诗薇聊过，她也有同感，不需太多顾虑，就大胆地去珍惜那份感情。

我们都同意，随着缘分而来的感情虽然是早已注定了，但是如果自己没有努力去争取，去守护这份感情，那么它有可能就不会持久了。

当然，一份感情是否能持久，永恒，不能只是看单方面的努力。像文文所说的，相处在一起时，若是不合，还是出了什么状况都不是单方面的错而是双方面的问题。

我自己也不否认，一份感情是不能凭着一个人傻傻地努力，苦苦相逼，死硬强求而持久的。有时候，自己努力过了，但却看到对方的冷淡，有可能就是对方在暗示对这份感情没兴趣。那时候，我觉得也是我们应该有自知之明的时候，了解应该是放手的时候了。有可能这就是所谓的注定吧，注定对方不领你这份情。

同时，如果一个人在感情上过于‘顺其自然’或‘随缘’的话，久了只会让另一方觉得他对那份感情的‘随便’，‘不理睬’或‘懒惰’的态度。这也不好。所以，双方必须在当中取得‘顺其自然’与‘守护感情’的平衡，对吗？请别问我要如何在这两者之间找到平衡，因为我自己也不知道。但我觉得窍门在于双方对感情的努力和谅解吧？！

读这篇文章的人有可能会想，都说是自己喜欢的人，所以才会去争取，那么如果发现那份感情真的不能持续下去，那我能否这么容易放手吗？哈哈~~请问，有哪儿一次的放手是容易的呢？放手一定是不容易的啦，但是竟然没有结果，死守着这份感情又有何用呢？只会让双方痛苦，不开心，不是吗？所以，我会，我会悄悄地退几步，再慢慢地离开，消失。。。你们呢？能放手吗？

哈哈，这是我第一次运用另外三个人加上自己的想法才写出来的文章。。以前都没试过。。但是，我觉得这课题是挺重要的，因为这世界上是没有独自生活的人，每个人一定会和其他人有某种关系，感情，所以，写这篇文章时不能草率。希望大家对‘感情’有更深一层的了解。。如果你们对这课题有什么意见，就请大家留言发表意见吧。。。哈哈。。

界线 - 郭静

What I do in a lab?

When I'm bored in the lab, what do I do to entertain myself? Hehe... Have a look...

人之初，性本恶

大家都肯定有听过三字经里的‘人之初，性本善’。

新平还没离开时，和他聊过这件事，他却说应该是相反的才对。他的想法很特别吧？

通常，我们都认为，刚出生的小孩，因未接触到世界的邪恶而存有纯洁的心灵。但在长大的过程中，由于和很多坏因素有了接触，自己的定力又不足而慢慢变坏。

新平则认为，其实每个人从一生出来本性就已经是邪恶的。可是最后的结果，他会是个好人还是坏人就得看他自己从小所接触到的环境，道德修为来决定。有可能从小，那小孩就有父母细心指导，教导他关于做人的道理，有良性朋友陪伴，自己的道德观念也很好，所以最后会成为一个好人。

你们觉得呢？是‘人之初，性本善’还是‘人之初，性本恶’？

我自己没法说哪儿一个是对还是错的。新平说的也有道理。最近有读到关于小孩儿说谎，勒索，偷，抢，等犯罪的新闻。所以，他说的，有可能也对。

如果要证明哪儿一种说法是对的，真的是有点难咯。。是不是？