Was chatting with RY some day ago about Physics and he suddenly changed topic by asking "Have you got a new gf yet?"
>.<" deng~~~
Haha.. This is an answer which I've kept under wraps for a long time due to uncertainties.
She:
- Much younger than I (SV & Jon said it's ok, it doesn't really matter, but I'm kinda worried)
- Interests are extremely similar to mine
- Character is nice
- Cheerful
- But I've noticed that she has changed, you can say she is 'open minded', but I still feel uncomfortable.
- I guess it's because of her young age, so when she is exposed to foreign culture, and not having a strong principle, she lost her initial identity.. I'm a little unhappy with her attitude recently...
She:
- Very direct, straight forward person, as in she speaks her mind
- Just like me, she doesn't conceal her feelings a lot, you can see clearly what she doesn't like or when she is unhappy
- Very cute smile
- Very professional when handling serious matter
- Problem: She is purely English educated, she can't speak nor write nor read mandarin. You may think that language is not a problem, but then, all my close friend, SV, Jon, Brother, etc are mandarin speaking. I can't imagine going out with them and having to speak in English to prevent her from being left out and feeling uncomfortable, as she can't understand a single mandarin word.
- Personally, I prefer to speak the language of the person, if chinese friends, speak mandarin, malay friends, speak malay because I feel the friendliness.
- I'm not that kind of person which will devote all my time for a girlfriend. I believe that my close friends are equal to my girlfriend. Chinese say "重义", I will never neglect my close friend just because of my girlfriend or vice versa. So, I'm a little afraid that this language barrier maybe a problem later. I hope she can understand that.
She:
- Straight forward attitude
- Friendly and jovial
- Mature in handling serious matter
- Motivated
- Superb mandarin
- But then she is not Malaysian, from what I noticed from my friends who have foreign gf, the question of staying where is always a problem, especially when both are thinking of their own country where their families and friends are, where they would like to settle down for their lives and career.
Biggest problem is: Long Distance Relationship
All of them are not in favour of it. I've seen a few LDR before and they basically didn't work out. Most of them break very fast. It is rather difficult to maintain a relationship just by MSN or email from far away.
This was the headache since Dec 09 when I've decided to come over to Melbourne for studies and will most probably spend the next 3.5 years over here. Really headache! It was too hard to decide whether to commit to the relationship or not. It would not be fair to tie each other down yet if the relationship will not work and unstable. I still haven't made up my mind until now.
Now got additional problem somemore, brother is toying with me. Sigh... Can I solve both problems soon. It is so unfair for all cases. It is not good to tie people down and make things hanging halfway. It is so unfair to everyone.
Related Links:
- 对不起，我爱你 （要投入一段感情是不容易的，要想到别人的处境，跟其中一个她说‘开始’，最终却连累到对方，我会很过于不去，爱一个人，也是件错事吗？）
还有，不只是我们选人家，人家也在选我们咯。。要互相选到彼此才行。。感情的事，很复杂哦。。
>.<" deng~~~
Haha.. This is an answer which I've kept under wraps for a long time due to uncertainties.
She:
- Much younger than I (SV & Jon said it's ok, it doesn't really matter, but I'm kinda worried)
- Interests are extremely similar to mine
- Character is nice
- Cheerful
- But I've noticed that she has changed, you can say she is 'open minded', but I still feel uncomfortable.
- I guess it's because of her young age, so when she is exposed to foreign culture, and not having a strong principle, she lost her initial identity.. I'm a little unhappy with her attitude recently...
She:
- Very direct, straight forward person, as in she speaks her mind
- Just like me, she doesn't conceal her feelings a lot, you can see clearly what she doesn't like or when she is unhappy
- Very cute smile
- Very professional when handling serious matter
- Problem: She is purely English educated, she can't speak nor write nor read mandarin. You may think that language is not a problem, but then, all my close friend, SV, Jon, Brother, etc are mandarin speaking. I can't imagine going out with them and having to speak in English to prevent her from being left out and feeling uncomfortable, as she can't understand a single mandarin word.
- Personally, I prefer to speak the language of the person, if chinese friends, speak mandarin, malay friends, speak malay because I feel the friendliness.
- I'm not that kind of person which will devote all my time for a girlfriend. I believe that my close friends are equal to my girlfriend. Chinese say "重义", I will never neglect my close friend just because of my girlfriend or vice versa. So, I'm a little afraid that this language barrier maybe a problem later. I hope she can understand that.
She:
- Straight forward attitude
- Friendly and jovial
- Mature in handling serious matter
- Motivated
- Superb mandarin
- But then she is not Malaysian, from what I noticed from my friends who have foreign gf, the question of staying where is always a problem, especially when both are thinking of their own country where their families and friends are, where they would like to settle down for their lives and career.
Biggest problem is: Long Distance Relationship
All of them are not in favour of it. I've seen a few LDR before and they basically didn't work out. Most of them break very fast. It is rather difficult to maintain a relationship just by MSN or email from far away.
This was the headache since Dec 09 when I've decided to come over to Melbourne for studies and will most probably spend the next 3.5 years over here. Really headache! It was too hard to decide whether to commit to the relationship or not. It would not be fair to tie each other down yet if the relationship will not work and unstable. I still haven't made up my mind until now.
Now got additional problem somemore, brother is toying with me. Sigh... Can I solve both problems soon. It is so unfair for all cases. It is not good to tie people down and make things hanging halfway. It is so unfair to everyone.
Related Links:
- 对不起，我爱你 （要投入一段感情是不容易的，要想到别人的处境，跟其中一个她说‘开始’，最终却连累到对方，我会很过于不去，爱一个人，也是件错事吗？）
还有，不只是我们选人家，人家也在选我们咯。。要互相选到彼此才行。。感情的事，很复杂哦。。
为什么有些人，即使离得远远，但仿佛还是靠在我眼前？
8 comments:
Eh,How come you never leak any of this to me? hahahaa. I m also English educated what! Can't read nor write mandarin also, but i get along with you just fine! hahhaha. Looks like someone is going to get hooked up soon!
Good luck!!
Dan
hahaha.. I can get along fine with ang mo oso, though the cant speak mandarin... haha...
about the language part, it's just that she really cant understand anything.. but obviously, if go out alone with her, then it's not a problem la, but if go out with her and friends (whom I prefer to speak mandarin with) then got a little problem lor, as in everybody must speak in english, if not, she will be left out right? hehe
when I'm with u, we r always alone or with some other english speaking ppl, so, erm.. haha.. speaking which language wasnt an issue.. anyway, even if i speak mandarin, u can understand oso.. she cant.. not at all.. hahaha..
anyway, LDR isnt very safe..
wat u think?
at least u have three desire options on ur mind :) slowly and take ur time lar, no rushing in this kind of matter :)
Connie
take time? later got snatched away then how?! hahaha..
maybe i should put u in my mind too to have more options.. hehehe
=P
Ted, yes LDR is very hard to sustain. I m very sure you would want this to last, so I think you should go after the one which you're most comfortable and happy to be around with, the one that you can just be yourself, not trying to change you into someone else that you're not, or to pretend to be someone you're not. Also, you must consider whether will your close friends be able to get along well with her.
This are the few important things I sometimes find in a few relationships that is lacking, and might be one of the reasons why break up occurs. Its not always about I love you and you love me. There is no point in saying these when you don't mean it.
Ah Dan
haha... very hard to get win-win situations lor, so many factors to take into account.. oh gosh..
sendiri must like, friends must like, she must like us 'as in me n my frens, family'..
very very very hard to choose..
say easy, but hard to choose.. not onli im choosing, the other side is oso choosing rmbr?! haha...
the right to choose is two ways..
Yes I agree, that is why you have to just try to ask her out just as a friend and see how things will work out. These things wont just pop out of no where haha.
Also sometimes, we need to compromise too. You have to remember, its no longer you or me when things get started. It will be "US".
Dan
yea, the whole point of being together is about 'us' rather than u or me alone..
must take into account wat u wan, n wat i nid..
which is hard to achieve. it is oways hard to get win-win situation btw..
which one would u choose? option 1 2 or 3?
anyway, wana ajak keluar pun susah, coz im not in Msia? hahaha
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